I'm everywhere

I love social networks….mostly Facebook. I absolutely and completely adore the fact that I know everything my friends are up to…and the friends of their friends…and their other friends of friends. I actually know everybody, or at least that’s how it seems. Post after post the whole day! Like that guy I never met, but he should be a friend of somebody’s as long as he is on my news fed wall. He makes smart and pertinent statements…like “I wanna drink coffee, but there is no coffee left in my house”. Cool stuff. The guy is tired, wants a coffee, what's wrong with that? But then the whole neighborhood jumps in to help. 23 comments on nothing, probably all posted by guys who know the chap as much as I do. Helpful, by the way, giving the lad ideas where is the closest coffee shop (even if nobody knows were the guy lives), which coffee is the best and what’s the cheapest brand. It’s good to know in case I run out of coffee as well. I love Facebook mostly because of the speed things happen in the network! Mary appears single today, tomorrow she is in a relationship with Mark (nice pic by the way!), a day later her status “is complicated“ and four days later she is single again. But don’t worry just yet, because the day after she is in another relationship with John who just got single after being complicated as well. I preferred Mark, even of I don’t know him. At least he has a symbolic profile photo...but it's Mary's choice I'm talking about!

I am sure I told you already that I have two Facebook pages: a business one, that I keep clean and simple, and a funky personal one. I love it when my girlies mix things and post on my business page comments like “Cosmos tonight?”. Thanks, chicks. Great statement, role model one! But they don’t stop here! The next post is “We can even watch a movie with a hottie”. Even better really. Thanks again, girls, the whole world would now know what our plans are! I even get posts on the same business page like “Who’s the hottie in the photo, sweets?” Now, he is nobody on this page, but he may be somebody on my personal one. But he’s not. The guy is on my friends of some friends page and I have no clue who he is. A shame really!

Then there is Twtter. I’m on that as well. I call it Haiku network...short and clear! Fair enough, don’t you think? You have to be sylabic as on Twitter. The coffee guy on Facebook would have to post on Twitter something like “I wanna drink coffee…link” and go back with another post “There is no coffee left…link”. I am sure that he would have many followers. You actually know none of them; they don’t know you either. I love followers. As many as better…at least that’s what my friends of friends on Facebook say! By the way, I just got a notification that Kiwi Tax follows me on Twitter. Why would they do that? I paid my tax, thank you very much. Probably that’s the reason they find me interesting...and unique!

And then there is Linkedin. Of course I have an account. Apparently it’s good for the business. I don’t know about that, but I am there as well.  Last week I got a message from a guy from overseas who had a business proposition for me. So I emailed the guy back just because I am a curious blondie. His reply came a second after I sent the email. Apparently the guy is in love with me and wants me to hop on Skype (of course I am there as well) to know each other better. Seriously? I don’t know who you are, mister, so let’s keep the distance, not just because you say you are somebody you are not. It’s mostly because I don’t want to meet you…never ever ever as graciously Taylor Swift says!

How can I forget about Pinterest? I'm on it as well….with a huge wall of pictures that now are called pins. My style? Versace…pin…pin…pin; Marilyn Monroe…pin…pin…pin, Burberry…other pins. 

I am on Google+ as well. Why should I miss it? Everybody is there. I still haven’t figured out how that works, but I am there and I will be on it as long as others are. So do you want me to cancel my account? You first!

I don’t understand why I try, quite hard by the way, to express myself when my accounts on all sorts of social networks say more about me than I could personally tell in the years I have left.  What I know is that if you want to take me out, you have to dress accordingly. You never know when our photo will end up on one of the social networks and I couldn’t cope with an ugly pic (remember I've said I am a Versace girl?). And if you want to know where I am today, who is with me and what we will be doing together, hop on one of my accounts. I am sure that one of my friends or their friends, or friends of their friends will be posting the goss at some stage. And while you read the story, please scroll the wall and help that poor guy who has no coffee left in his home! :)