Website Link

back to the Fit and Toned website

Monday, 15 September 2014

How to become a socialite

There are blondes, super blonde ones and...there is me. The blondest of all. I may not be Alice, but I still believe in Wonderland. My style of it! As every blonde, I can swear that I know nothing less than...everything. I have answers for all sorts and, if I don't, I am able to find some. .. on the spot. I don't need to watch too much telly to be fashionable. And trendy! And I definitely don't get my answers from the socialites en vogue advertised for free by the small and big screen. Back in time, talk shows got appreciation if real celebrities accepted to be invited. Scientists, artists, elite athletes were haunted by well known talk shows. Things changed lately and starlets, socialites and socialistas replaced the real celebrities. So, after a few seconds of deep thinking, I decided that, instead of going to work, I could become a socialite. I am blonde enough to be a good one! And because I believe that I quite suit a cute/ blonde socialite, I feel the urge to become one. So I came up with my own "Guide of becoming a real socialite in just 7 easy steps". Don't envy me, please! Course I'd share it with you! 

Step 1. Be informed with what your socialite- sisters are doing
Knowledge means power. Somebody really famous said that....but not so famous as your socialite sisterhood is! Anyway, sometimes you need to look at life from a different perspective, I thought one of those lazy days last week when I turned on my telly....only to detect how can one become famous without deserving it.  First "I kept up with..", then I've been following the other folks, part of the same clan in LA. And "the Ex-s". I haven't stopped there though because I didn't want to forget the "classics". You know which, girls with names on some more notorious hotels. YouTube helped me out with some nice little "Real life" episodes. After a few hours, I still haven't learnt too much, but what I was sure about was how fashion changed in the last few years. Sometimes because of the adventures ideas of well known designers; other times because of the requirements dictated by enhancements of some desired body parts. Let's admitted. Buddylicious is sexylicous!

 Step 2. Promote yourself
"Just be yourself" is not trendy anymore! I am sure you all know that  It is not important who one is and what one knows or does. The only  relevant thing is how many "likes" and "followers" one has. As many as better. And by the way, everything over 1,000 proves that the one is on the edge of getting famous. Even a blonde like me knows that there are only two ways to get to thousands of followers: paid advertisement and charity....which is free by the way.... So start with the ice challenge and get through all sorts of other challenges, famous on your fab social media channel. I've done the all. It is true that I have donated the money as well, cos I am good, honest girl, but still done them! But please if you really aspire to socialite a website. I have one! Also, write all sorts of silly blogs. I do that! And for God sake, take selfies. I heard that some even took 365 in 365 a year! Follow the greats!

Step 3. Adopt a proper socialite language
We all know that English is an international language...but it's not the bees knees when it comes to being famous. There is an unwritten slang you need to know by heart. Watch reality shows if you don't believe me. So, start with the simple things. Like OMG. This is a must. If you don't know the basics, you would never get to a perfect language. Then, remember to "chillax", when you're tired of doing nothing.  Never ask or request your girlfriends anything.  Always "requestion" them. Never leave a party. Always "bounce". Once you handle very well all these you can jump to more complicated expressions. Like "OMG, BFF, don't get to salty on me. Your shoes are ill. My bad I felt jaunty and could't get some. The ones I bought are ballin too". It takes time to learn the whole slang, but if you want to be a socialite, you will!

Step 4. Choose your friends...carefully
Their name is more important  than the level of famousness. So keep your ears wide open when new people are introduces to you...and grab the Rockefellers. Also those who wear names of any chain of motels, hotels, restaurants. I haven't decided in regards to backpackers, but I will keep you I usually do. Don't forget the names on every lips...Visa and Master. Nobody would know if their ancestors invented the distinguished credit cards, but it is still good to be associated to a Visa and Master friend. No, Dinners card does't sound right! 

Step 5. Watch what you eat
Everybody knows that cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.  It's common knowledge really. So eat, cos socialites eat too and remember that you are just about to be part of the sisterhood. You can for example eat the hole in the pretzel ... if it has one... Again, I haven't decided on the hole in the macaroni, so up to you. But you can eat one leaf of lettuce, no dressing or seasoning. Leave the rest to cockroaches! You can drink as much as you want ... I mean, water in the natural clear or pink versions!

Step 6. Fashion is the new common sense
Your wardrobe is very important. You don't want to look like the poor sister in the socialite's clan. This year, the trend is not far from last one's one....but I am sure you cannot afford that. I cannot either. I mean real designer garments, accessorised with Tiffanys and completed with Jimmy Choo. No, simple is not an option. Leave that to classy people! 

Step 7. Your own reality show is a must
...while a sex tape is just an option. But if you want badly to be a desired starlet, both are even better. No, less is more doesn't work here! If you opt for a reality show, keep in mind that the tape works 24/7, so you have to wake up with full make-up on, including a French labourer red lippy. Now, to achieve that, I would suggest a really simple sleeping position....sitting. It is so easy, I tried it, it works. 

Now, I have to admit that as easy as it it to become a socialite (in just 7 steps as I proved), I decided to take the shortcut and go back to work. It's less difficult for me! So, clients, please keep booking me! I'll be a socialite in my holiday...if any! :)