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Saturday, 29 June 2013

Why? Just because!

There is a rumor that Apple will release something very soon. What? Nobody knows yet, but the headquarter's warehouse doors are closed…so once again something is going to boom the market. I don’t want to miss that, but I cannot fly to Cupertino and have a nose. So, I decided to pop into the Vodafone shop and see if they have any idea about the upgraded IPhone 6’s release date. I want it badly! The guy looks kind of at me…actually he looks down to me even if I don’t wear pink today. I know what he thinks, I felt that so many times.: “Another idiot gave some money to the blondie to buy something nice”. That’s fine….I want the phone so I decided once again to be nice. I enlarged my smile and poppep the question about the 6. Same look again. “Why do you need the IPhone 6?”. Now, that’s totally my business and it has nothing to do with this Arabic guy. But my dumb smile convinced him to put my name down on his long list where there is only one name…mine! Buddy, with or without your help I will get it because what you don’t know is that behind my sweet appearance I may be one of those sweets who designed apps for the previous model.  And I don’t want to be stuck in the past...and I always get what I want! Just to be clear here!

So, I’m stubborn. What’s wrong with that? I proved it so many times. Actually I proved it in my classes.  Three years ago, I developed those five fitness classes, I choreographed them, I  designed levels and levels of each, I named them and I taught them. I still do that! Some of them are chicks only, others mixed.  I teach at least one a day, sometimes two or even three, seven days a week, so I know them by heart. Only if you would teach a fitness class you would know the feeling. People look not at you, not at what you do…they actually look into your eyes and beyond that! So, I’m stubborn, as I’ve said, and, when things get hard and I know that my peeps want to stop for a sec, I turn my head…not because I don’t care about their pain. It’s just a trick really. I give them the option to cheat as I wouldn’t see them relaxing…but they never do that because they know that I am stubborn …and I see everything … and, if they cheat, I’ll go back and redo the sequence until it’s done properly. Actually, I believe that my clients are stubborn as well…in a good way. I never saw my girlies Deanna, Jas, Barb, Val, Jenny, Sharon, Jacinda, Louise, Sandy or Julie cheating; nor Dion or Peter. They just go hard as there is no tomorrow. And to be totally honest sometimes after a class we all have the feeling that there is none! :)

Friday, 28 June 2013

Sweet revenge

 I like it quiet in the morning.... I wake up at 4am or 5am if I'm lucky, and I like having me time before I put my smile on. Not today. Three of my clients woke up earlier than me only to drop a nasty text. Identical really: “Federer lost. Glad I’m not training today”. Thanks, guys. It’s like I don’t know the news already... I had my cry over last night. But I have to admit my clients are right. When the Fed loses a game it’s better to cancel your workouts because I would just push to the point where there is no sarcastic smile left on your faces.  Not so much today because for the first time I realized that he is not that young anymore. Neither am I….but I am still alive and I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Two years ago I bought myself a motorcycle. Never had one before, never been even close to one before. The whole experience lasted three months.  I realized that it’s just not me. Then I wanted to cross a marathon finish line  one more time. So what if I done it? I don’t dream like that anymore and there are no out of regular wishes on my Bucket list left. I just want normality what ever that means! 

There is only one crazy thing I still do every year. It’s called the "Revenge Session”. My clients know exactly what I am talking about and I bet they can’t wait for me to make it public. This session is their favorite one because for two hours they are my trainers and I am their client. Every year I let myself tortured by them, but to be honest here I think they only do to me what I’ve done to them. But there is a great thing here…I don’t have to pay them for training me. So, guys, put  your boxing gloves on, start making plans, remember exercises, make up others, do what ever you want…and do it hard because who knows if there would be another one next year! I’ll be yours for two hours on the last Sunday morning in October. Bring it on! Then go straight to what ever churches you belong to and pray hard! Not for me, I’ll be fine. For you, because on the  Monday after I’ll be in charge again! :)

Thursday, 27 June 2013

Counting the blessings

I never had a hero, I mean a real one, and never wanted to live in a celeb’s shoes. I always felt comfortable with who I am. I know I am intense and silly most of the times, but I am who I am and I am not sure whether I want or can change. Girls want to have what Paris has, or look like some brainwashed socialites. I didn’t and I don’t want that. It’s true that some people inspire me, but I wouldn’t change my life for theirs. You don’t even imagine how well is to be me. 

My 6:00am is a client who always inspired me. Was actually because he forgot to turn up today for his training. I trained this guy for the last four years and he reached every goal he had, but he always comes up with something new. Anyway, he didn’t come today so I decided to ask Well, my laptop, to read my emails…again. There is one from one of my chicks, Corina. She found this cool website, specialised in horoscopes…all sorts of them. Now, I don’t read horoscopes, but I decided to please Corina, just because she is a good friend. So let’s just see what my horoscope for today says. Actually is a day behind because the site is a US one. It says that I would get such great news, best ever! Would that be the one about Hendrix, my puppy, chewing my spa lid or the fact that I popped my patella out again? It has to be about Hendrix because my horoscope also says that I would spend some money on me…..actually on a new spa lid, but that’s close enough. But let’s read more. Good news again. I would meet today, sorry yesterday, the love of my life. Now it gets really specific: around lunchtime. Actually I missed that because at lunchtime I had two classes. Girls only. But it says something about a ring. That’s true. Somebody needed money and sold a ring. I wanted to help, so I bought it. But then I started liking the ring and I decided to get engaged…to myself and I am sure we will be very happy together…me and I. 

Let’s cut this short. I am having a great day today. I checked my blog analytics and I got up to 43,000 readers. Thanks, guys, I appreciate it. So huge thanks to New Zealand, US, UK, Canada, Italy, Spain, France, Phillipines, Russia your coming strong, Australia, Japan, Brazil, Poland, Romania (Transylvania, mon amour!), Hungary and Denmark (I worked there, I miss you, guys!). And a no thanks to that guy in Sunnyvale US. You know who you are. So sorry, not interested, so stop stalking me! 

Have a great day, guys, and don’t read your horoscopes. It’s rubbish! :)

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Living as per the stereotype

I used to believe everything and everybody. Not anymore. It wasn’t easy to learn how to hide behind my blondeness, but apparently I got better in time. Now, let’s be honest here. What guy would ever date a girl with an IQ higher than most men? What can you do if yours is way above 180? Pathetic really cause it may break all bridges to that awesome guy. So I learnt to hide and my blonde hair helped a lot. …and my smile! Guys like sweet girls and if they are dumb as well, that’s quite a bonus!  It’s not just me here…they are other blondies  in the same situation (no, not Mike, the situation!). I met a few and they play the game as well… But this time, I’ll make it personal, no examples, no correlations, no similarities…but I am going to give you one clue and one hint. Just because I decided to be nice.

So, let’s just talk relationships. The girl is blonde of course…and sweet, no doubt. And if she is a pink girlie girl, even easier to be read! That’s all guys see there; good catch, easy to handle and mould! They also know that if she is blonde (we already established that!), she has to be that and nothing else.  What they think they see behind the image is a chick whose brain goes no further than typing her secret diary (with glossy emoticons, of course!) in Word, entering her glamorous shopping list in Excel and watching some girlie, super teary soap operas. ..or tele novellas. The blondie has to have her fashion magazines every week…just to keep herself informed with the new colors en vogue. Another myth...  She also has to waste hours on her mobile with her garls, chit chatting about the last rumors in the neighborhood. Legend! But what happens if none of them is true? What if the blondie runs a business, is a computer geek and her brain has more circumvolutions than the guy’s? How do you hide that? Simple as and here is the clue: live as per his expectations. Please do it! It works!  

But, just because I said something about a hint, I’ll keep my promise. The hint is challenge of course, because if the girl is smart, she would want to be challenged. Smart people get bored easily…if they are not challenged. So, I am still looking around and wondering where is that awesome guy who decides to challenge me? And other smart blondies as well…I almost forgot something. He has to know how to play fair: when I throw a ball I expect it returned to me. Fast! Just because I played tennis for too long and that’s the rule I know! Too bad if he, the guy, prefers playing chess. I hate waiting for his next move! :)

Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Let's have coffee together!

 I always wanted to invent the boomerang that never returns. What a brilliant idea really! Imagine how much money I could make. You would buy one of my boomerangs, throw it as far as possible, it’s gone, so you would have to buy another one. Just for fun! I could even get the Nobel Prize for entertainment, but there is no such a category invented….yet. As I don’t have time to market my boomerang… I invent words…in all sorts of languages I still can speak. My best words are in English though and Tricia, my friend and editor, pulls her hair out when she hears me. But let me tell you the story. 

This morning at 5:00am I was waiting for Mary. She is one of my weight loss clients and I have fun training her. She is always more awake than I am and she talks a lot….I smile more than her. So Mary arrived and a second later John was in my studio…and then Wilson as well. Now, John is into bodybuilding and I do rehab work on Wilson’s elbow. So I looked at all three of them while my blonde head was full of all sorts and I didn’t know what to ask. So I smiled. Big, blonde smile, dumb really. I mean huge smile! Then I looked to my diary stored in Greenhead. I forgot to tell you about him. He is my IPhone. Anyway, I’ve seen Mary booked at 5:00am Tuesday. Nothing about John and Wilson. I then checked the texts I’ve sent out last week and surprise… I booked them all at the same time. Stupid, blonde moment. What would you do? I know what I’ve done. First of all I kept smiling. Then I asked “Coffee anyone?”. I made them coffees and sent them home….not without telling them “the next one is on me, guys. You have a great day and see you next time”…individually I hope! 

Then I walked home. …10 meters at most. Opened the door and my puppy Hendrix just finished reading three of my cooking books…with his teeth. I cleaned the mess and started talking to Well, my laptop. He was in a weird mood and refused to read my emails. He can get really stubborn this one! I fixed him somehow cause I am stubborn too.  Not even 6am and everything goes wrong. So I came up with my new word: unbook. Really easy to get this, guys! My whole day was booked, back to back, client after client, so I though to myself (no, not what a wonderful world!) what if I kind of chill out today and I unbook what I’ve booked. I then started unbooking my clients one by one. Not the classes, no! I still kept a yoga one and a bootcamp…just the One-on-Ones. Naughty, naughty me, but I never done that before so I am quite proud of my wild side!

Now, I am not lazy. I am just intense. Everybody knows that. When I start I don’t stop! And I have reasons for the muck up today. I haven’t slept too much last week. All sorts really, thoughts, worries, but that’s something I cannot tell you a word about. Much too  personal. So, guys, coffee anyone? And see you around tomorrow! :)

Monday, 24 June 2013

La vie en rose

I was chatting last night with a dear buddy of mine I haven’t seen in 15 years. Not chatting-chatting… just Facebook PMs. Let me tell you something about this guy. He was, years back, la crème de la crème in volleyball, the best player Europe has ever had and probably the top libero in the whole world. I’ve seen him playing hundreds of times. Always the best.  And I know what volleyball is about. I haven’t missed a game when I was younger. Anyway, back to the guy. What he had and others didn’t was that this guy was smart, his game was cleaver and tricky. You know how tall volleyball players are. He was a head shorter and he knew that he has to transform this handicap into a quality. So, I was chatting with him last night and what do volleyball fans chat about? You guessed: volleyball. I was absolutely sure that he coaches somewhere in Europe. He deserves that. But no. Others do…others who have degrees in God knows what, no experience and definitely no feel for the court. Anytime he was closer to get a coaching job, a novice just appeared from nowhere and grabbed it. Of course the novice was a friend of a friend of a high rated nobody. Nepotism is everywhere unfortunately. So, this buddy of mine got a job in something he is not passionate about, hoping that one day somebody remembers about him and his smart game. A shame really. I would make a volleyball team, I would fly him, his wife and son over and I would put him in charge if I could…but I don’t know too many tall guys. I mean I know some, but not so well and the ones I know may not want to know me. 

The story about my buddy made me think about how unfair life is for some people. Some may have multiple chances to get what they want, others none, Destiny? I don’t know and I am sure you don’t either. How many of you know what an athlete goes through? Probably many. I want to believe that many of you, guys, are in the position I was years back or my buddy was as well. My volleyball buddy could tell you a lot about what training as an athlete means. Eight hours a day, every day, since 5 or if you were lucky 6 years old. Every day, no weekends, no holidays. Then tournaments, one after another. Different cities, where all you remember are the train stations or airports. And after so many years of absolute torture, no job available in your sports? Pathetic really. 

Life is not fair and in most cases the one you take a bullet for is pulling the trigger. You know the feeling…But fair or not, life is more interesting when you are strange…or weird.  Now, I know the feeling cause I may be one of those. I wouldn’t fit in any standards and definitely I couldn’t be boxed and labeled. Just because all I care in this life of mine is mon couer qui bat! :)

Sunday, 23 June 2013

My one-sided affair

Last week, Dion, one of my good buddies rang me with an emergency. He said something about his rotator cuff. Dion is not a complainer, I trained him for quite a while, long enough to know that he is a taughy.  I know him so well and I know his wife Barb very well. I train her as well. Barb has the most amazing body. She wasn’t like that six months ago; we worked so hard together on that. But this is another story. So Dion was on my massage table while I checked on his injury. Actually there was a Trapezius problem. So I knew exactly how hard this would be. On him, not on me... I knew that I had to pull his Scapula completely out in order to smoothen his Trap, then put the bone back to its place.  That’s the moment when the noise would make him faint. So I wanted him talking. And Dion talked... all sorts.... I didn’t even listen; I had my job to do. But something grabbed my attention….Dion saying something like “everything in this world is one-sided; relationships, feelings, everything”. And then he started giving me examples. I was sure he was wrong. Not anymore. 

I’ve been in a long affair with Telecom. He was my Internet provider and I thought we walked side by side. No leads here!  Seven days ago I started having problems; noises on my line, no broadband, all sorts really.  So I rang them. Firstly I talked with that cookie, 100% honey. She seemed to be more interested in the weather and how smooth my day was. She made me plug and unplug things, change filters, reset stuff, things I already done before. But I was in the mood to please her. Then she put me through Ben. He definitely sensed that I am blonde, so he felt obligated to explain in details how Internet works; “Imagine that Internet knocks on your door. He hears a noise inside, but you don’t open the door. So he leaves. And then comes back…and leaves again…and so on”. Seriously? How do you know that I am that blonde? But Ben was a good guy I guess because he sent out a technician….who never arrived. He was here in spirit because Ben assured me a few hours later that the guy fixed the problem. No, he didn’t! Then on Saturday morning at 5:00am, I talked to James. Another great guy! I explained how badly I need my connection for my business because I was just about to make an Eftpos transaction and believe me when I'm saying that my client had to pay quite a lot. I mean a lot. And James started laughing. …and then I realized why.  Who on earth charges clients on Saturday morning, when it is still dark? “Wait, James, I am not in that business! I am in an other kind of business. I’m just a trainer”. And we both laughed. James tried hard, but nothing changed. Steve couldn’t sort my problem either. Nor that American guy an hour later. The Indian lady at lunchtime tried as well. So after talking to the whole staff, I asked for a manager. He was nice as well. They all were… He may have helped me if I would have thrown a tantrum. I am sorry I cannot yell. It’s just not me. So, here I am, with the Internet still knocking on my door as per Ben. I loved you Telecom, really did, but I may have to divorce you. Just because, as Dion said, we’ve been in an one-sided relationship.. ..and I hate the fact you don’t love me back!

Now, I am not hopeless, nor useless. I am not out of Internet. I know how to use my phone as a modem for my laptop or IPad. But while I do all that, I still wonder how much business I would have if I would act as my dear affair partner Telecom does. And yes, Dion, I agree. Everything is one-sided in this whole world…if there is no competition. I know that by heart. I have a studio surrounded by 5 gyms. Real ones. And I am more booked that all five together...just because I don't just try to fix problems. :)