My one-sided affair

Last week, Dion, one of my good buddies rang me with an emergency. He said something about his rotator cuff. Dion is not a complainer, I trained him for quite a while, long enough to know that he is a taughy.  I know him so well and I know his wife Barb very well. I train her as well. Barb has the most amazing body. She wasn’t like that six months ago; we worked so hard together on that. But this is another story. So Dion was on my massage table while I checked on his injury. Actually there was a Trapezius problem. So I knew exactly how hard this would be. On him, not on me... I knew that I had to pull his Scapula completely out in order to smoothen his Trap, then put the bone back to its place.  That’s the moment when the noise would make him faint. So I wanted him talking. And Dion talked... all sorts.... I didn’t even listen; I had my job to do. But something grabbed my attention….Dion saying something like “everything in this world is one-sided; relationships, feelings, everything”. And then he started giving me examples. I was sure he was wrong. Not anymore. 

I’ve been in a long affair with Telecom. He was my Internet provider and I thought we walked side by side. No leads here!  Seven days ago I started having problems; noises on my line, no broadband, all sorts really.  So I rang them. Firstly I talked with that cookie, 100% honey. She seemed to be more interested in the weather and how smooth my day was. She made me plug and unplug things, change filters, reset stuff, things I already done before. But I was in the mood to please her. Then she put me through Ben. He definitely sensed that I am blonde, so he felt obligated to explain in details how Internet works; “Imagine that Internet knocks on your door. He hears a noise inside, but you don’t open the door. So he leaves. And then comes back…and leaves again…and so on”. Seriously? How do you know that I am that blonde? But Ben was a good guy I guess because he sent out a technician….who never arrived. He was here in spirit because Ben assured me a few hours later that the guy fixed the problem. No, he didn’t! Then on Saturday morning at 5:00am, I talked to James. Another great guy! I explained how badly I need my connection for my business because I was just about to make an Eftpos transaction and believe me when I'm saying that my client had to pay quite a lot. I mean a lot. And James started laughing. …and then I realized why.  Who on earth charges clients on Saturday morning, when it is still dark? “Wait, James, I am not in that business! I am in an other kind of business. I’m just a trainer”. And we both laughed. James tried hard, but nothing changed. Steve couldn’t sort my problem either. Nor that American guy an hour later. The Indian lady at lunchtime tried as well. So after talking to the whole staff, I asked for a manager. He was nice as well. They all were… He may have helped me if I would have thrown a tantrum. I am sorry I cannot yell. It’s just not me. So, here I am, with the Internet still knocking on my door as per Ben. I loved you Telecom, really did, but I may have to divorce you. Just because, as Dion said, we’ve been in an one-sided relationship.. ..and I hate the fact you don’t love me back!

Now, I am not hopeless, nor useless. I am not out of Internet. I know how to use my phone as a modem for my laptop or IPad. But while I do all that, I still wonder how much business I would have if I would act as my dear affair partner Telecom does. And yes, Dion, I agree. Everything is one-sided in this whole world…if there is no competition. I know that by heart. I have a studio surrounded by 5 gyms. Real ones. And I am more booked that all five together...just because I don't just try to fix problems. :)