I dream dreams....

I am a dreamer. Please take this literally. I mean a dreamer that dreams all sorts of dreams. I go to bed with no desire to cross the lines. I get asleep in a second without any autohypnosis...then I start dreaming. All sorts, as I've already said. My dreams are real dreams...as real as my blonde nature is. Dreams are just dreams, you may say. But no, mine are so special. By the way, my dad always knew I was special...blonde kind of special! So let's just go deeper and elaborate my latest dream. 

So here I was with Hendrix, my eight months old puppy...in my dream of course...after being with him for real day and night for the last seven months. Hendrix was (in my dream...why do I have to repeat it?) such a good boy, listening to everything I said and following everything I asked him. Now, this was dream, you know that because Hendrix would never do what I want him to do. Hendrix is a free spirit...like me. But wait! The dream seemed so real that when I woke up this morning even I believed it. So I looked at my dear boy happy that I was finally able to train him properly. But no! Hendrix was and still is just Hendrix, the naughtiest dog in the whole wide world. Why? Let me tell you why. The whole day I was home with my dogs. You know Max, my senior dog, then Hendrix and Neo, the new addition to the family. Max and Neo create no problems. They are old souls. Hendrix is....let me just think...new soul? nah, just free spirit. A day by myself and for myself when I've done what I liked most: training, training and training. I almost forgot...cleaning and cooking, my most favorite things and I am not kidding. So, I'm a good girl.....Hendrix is not so good. I cleaned the house and was so happy to plan a pampering evening. You know....nails, face mask, foot spa...what blondes like more than their lives. Hendrix doesn't, so he made sure I noticed that he made a new hole in the spa lid. That's fine...it's just the third one. Then brought all sorts of weird pieces of wood on the deck...and made them finer that the finest powder. That's fine as well. I vacuumed already three times today; I can do it once again! Then chewed his food bowl. Fine again. He can use the other dogs' ones, which could create a fight between them, but Hendrix is a winner as you all know. Then opened my nail polish bottle. He could easily be a nail technician this one! Once again fine; he stained only the carpet on the deck....nothing else. And then he barked....the whole day...I mean, every second. I don't understand how my neighbors never complained. I would, but they don't. I believe that they must be deaf. I'm not!

 Anyway, it's almost 8pm and the day is nearly over....without any foot spa, face mask or pampering stuff. Hendrix made sure he had my full attention. Him and nobody else.  He was different in my dream. But let me tell you what. Perhaps tonight I will dream a different dream. One in which Hendrix is bad, real bad, not well trained...naughty as. Wait! This wouldn't be a dream.....this is my true life with my beloved Hendrix. So you tell me please. What should I then dream cos nothing seems to work? What about a dream about me responding to Hendrix as he does to me? Like chewing his bowl...and every cable in the house, breaking everything, barking back to him, destroying CD cases...all of them, running like crazy in the house...and the list is opened for everything. Nah, that would made two Hendrixes....and the truth is that Hendrix is only one....free spirit! :)


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Aligned

Sometimes I wonder how blonde is too blonde...but then I know the answer...never enough. A blondie is just a blondie, nothing more, nothing less. Now, you, guys, know my story. I am quite a smartie, talented and well skilled when it's about my job. I could be every client's dream trainer. I know my job by heart and I do it very well. I am passionate about what I do and I love learning. But when you mention my private life? Hmm,,, things may be quite different here. Please understand me when I'm saying that I'm not the only blonde alive....and I'm not that blonde either, but the stereotype requires me to be even more than I am. So I just want myself aligned and less visible. Wait. That's not right. I require attention, I stir emotions and I am super full on. Every real blonde is. Just remember Marilyn (what a blonde!); then Sharon (ahh, the bombe). Do you want more examples? I could start today and finish a week from now...without repeating myself! 

It's not that I like living to your expectations....I have to! Of course I have to! Sometimes however even I get tricked by myself. There is a whole theory behind it. You know what I'm talking about...that stuff about the subconscious  taking over the conscious. Still no clue? Never mind....The truth is that sometimes  I go really grand!!! Like today. I tried for the last few days to instal my Apple TV, that I've installed by the way long time ago....myself. As a real blonde, I forgot how I've done it in the past, so here I was, trying to find a meaning for a black square thingy, 2 cables and a tinny remote.  My girlies know how impatient I am...very, very. So I tried and tried, but the thingy still didn't work. So I got bored...still on the subject though. But then I noticed that the remote has no blue light....as it had before. I know that for sure because I have a dress, a very special one, in that shade of blue. So no light means dead battery! What a shame. 

Remember I started by being a blonde, a natural one by the way? Now let me explain how blonde....How could I be something else when I listened to someone really special by the way who told me to heat the battery in the oven? Seriously? Bottom line..... the battery exploded! That's how blonde I am! But don't worry guys. That's who I am in my private life. I rock as a trainer! :

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The words I understand

I love learning new languages. I speak a few and I hope to be able to communicate in many more by the time Alzheimer hits me....if it does. Sometimes I mix words in my blonde head, but that's fine; people usually turn a blind eye and allow me more than normal. I was told that I speak in my sleep...in all sorts of languages of course...always one that my partners wouldn't understand. How convenient by the way. But again, because people wouldn't associate blonde to smart; the best I can hope to hear from them is a pathetic "oh, you're so sweet". I'm happy with that as long as they let me fake my perfect blondness. 

So I mix words and make weird sentences using bits from the languages I speak, words and sentences by the way not used yet by other people. What about them? They do the same. Let me just give you some examples. "Monday week"! What exactly does that mean? Let's have coffee Monday week. Seriously? Monday week is simple next Monday, so why do people have to complicate things? Have you ever heard about Monday month or year or decade? 

Let me give you another one. "The apple of my eyes". The what really? I hate apples so how can I say that my daughter is the apple of my eyes? I love my blondie daughter more than my life, but I don't like apples. That pushes me really to make up my own saying, something like "Miriam is the strawberry of my eyes". Fair enough, I love Miriam, I love strawberries. 

What about "not too bad"? What does that really mean to you, guys? Bad, but not so bad, or good but not so good? I'm forced to make my own again. So, how am I doing? Too good. That sounds better. You can use it too. I don't have any copyright on it just yet. 

One more for you, guys. Have you heard about that "cool" guy? He is probably the same person my girls say is "hot". Now which one it is: cool or hot? Cos there is such a huge difference. Wait. I just remembered. How is that guy? "Sweet as". Now this is kind of confusing for a blondie like me. Allow me once again to make a statement I can understand. So that guy may be, in my blonde opinion, one with a weird body temperature, cool and hot, but with a definite sweet taste. What an interesting guy...I want to meet him for sure. 

Now a last one that relates to happiness. I love being happy...so happy that I feel in "7th heaven". That's what you would say. I came from Europe. French, Germans, Hungarians and Romanians haven't ever heard about 7th heaven, but they know about 9th heaven. Which is then the right one for defining ecstatic states? Only God really knows about heaven, so again I have to compromise and come up with a statement that works for me. What about 8th heaven? That would be right...not yours, not others....just mine. 

When it's about weird words, I'm the expert. But you're not far from that either. That makes me believe that you, guys, are not too bad, actually cool and hot and sweet as, which makes you the apple of my eye and lifts me to the 7th heaven. I said it all! Have a great week, guys! :)

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My true soulmate

Life can be very long if it's not right...and Hendrix made it just right for me because he is the joy of my life. That doesn't mean that my life is shorter...I hope...even if my boy Hendrix usually pushes me very close to having a heart attack. My only hope is that women are less likely to have heart attacks. 

Hendrix is exactly like me...total nonconformist. You know Hendrix. No, not Jimi. My Hendrix, the 7 months old Labrador- Ridgeback cross. I love him to bits when I don't hate him. He's done them all, from destroying my car to chewing everything in my home. He read all my cooking books...with his teeth; he swallowed my keys; he eat all my cables; he repeatedly drank my coffee and eat my lunches; he made pieces all my fav CDs (lucky I make copies!); he's done everything possible and impossible! Hendrix knows there are no repercussions because Hendrix is, as I've said, the joy of my life. Sometimes, after he goes grand in what he does best, crashing everything, I promise myself to find him a new home, but then I remember how much I love him. Hendrix is different. I cannot even compare him to humble Max, my other dog, because Hendrix is special, very, very special! 

Every client knows Hendrix; maybe because they all have been involved in his life. Some helped me finding him after an escape, others actually found him running free in all sorts of places when I was working. My neighbors know Hendrix better than they know me. My friends know him too. Everybody knows that the only way one can get closer to me is through Hendrix...but nobody knows why. Hendrix was to be put down when I got him. I took my chance, I knew the risk involved and I opened wide my wallet. I paid for the huge surgery he had to have and I saved his life. I am not sure he knows that but at the end of the day love is usually one sided. 

My puppy grew a lot, he got bigger and taller and apparently he got more relaxed. I mean, more relaxed when he does something naughty. Like today when he got somehow on the table and eat around five apples, tree bananas and 1kg of kiwi fruits. He may be on a special detox diet because at the end of the day he is a Personal Trainer's puppy. Hendrix didn't stop here though. He managed to open a Ribena bottle and drank it all. Only for fun! But I wasn't angry; I never am. I looked into his eyes and I've seen myself because Hendrix is exactly like me: blonde. Actually he is a black dog that acts like a blonde one. I know that my Hendrix, like me, will always do upside down things, he will always push boundaries, will cross forbidden lines, but once where he wants to be, he will always be a winner. He may even be my soulmate....just a shame he is not a real man. I would have married him with my eyes closed and I would have always cherished and adored him. But he is not! He is just a puppy I love very much...always did...always will! :)

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I used a life

I blogged on happiness even when I was sad. But now I'm happy so why not bring back a happy vibe to my blogs? But first I have to bring back Heidegger. You know how much I love him. I said it a few times that I was in a secret relationship with him. Affair? Nah, I wouldn't go so far, but I still have to agree with his approach to happiness. Technology and life as a something that can be controlled and mastered versus spiritual crisis. This is more than enough for me. Technology? I couldn't live without it! I depend on my iPhone and my laptop more that normal.  They are like modern drugs for me that alter and regulate the states of my mind and body.   Does that make me happier? Actually not really. People do. My happiness depends on people!

I am a fraction of a second away from being ecstatic. I started a new bootcamp, my weight loss challenges are going very well, my classes too, my clients are happy and I am just about to start a ballet class for lithe girls. That doesn't mean that I am less blonde. I've told you so many times that my work is the only point of excellence. My private life? Ups and downs, a synergy of silly moments and blonde ones. Recently it got better though.Until today, when weird things happened again. Everything started with me cooking and when I cook, I do it in style. I love cooking, always did. I could have been a chef, but I don't like working nights. So yesterday I was cooking and I grated my thumb, which is just normal and probably happened to you, guys. Today though, two thick red lines appeared on my arm, up to my shoulder and even if I found that very fancy, also matching my red dress, I started been worried when I noticed that I have high temperature. I loved it by the way, because my face looked better than it did with makeup on. My doc, who by the way is not just a great doctor... a hottie as well (I hope he doesn't read this...but he does!) disagreed with me and he started cutting things out of my thumb faster than I was able to say no (no means no, that's what we girls were taught) . Actually not once. Twice because I had to go back to my doc who decided that a whole is not enough (not that one!). So, yes, I am on antibiotics, thank you very much, and I kind of see blurry things especially when I bent over in my yoga classes or I jump in my step classes or I lift my barbell in my pump ones. More specific...all the time. So am I not an unfortunate blonde? Sort of am one....but still happy. I have technology on my side... and people too. 

Back to Heidegger. He thought that we are responsible for our actions. Everybody knows that. You don't have to be a philosopher to guess that! Wait. I remember him saying something about collective and personal responsibility. It was my personal choice to cook and chop my finger. We, girls, cook. We, blondes, cook silly. So here is our collective choice. Don't worry guys. I have nine lives. I used only one, eight left for other courageous attempts. See you, guys, in the gym. :)

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Ms. Blondness herself

We decided long time ago how blonde I am. The kind of blonde who has no comparison. Blonde enough to do silly things without creating confusion. Just me. I know who I am and I am quite comfortable in my blonde world. I still believe that there are no evil people around....just after they hurt me badly. So what? Still people for me. I also believe that good things should happen to everybody just because people are not bad enough to deserve tragedies. So, I'm blonde, nothing else to discuss here! And when I'm good, I'm better!  I'm not always so good, but I'm always that blonde!

There are two sides to me, you know that. One is my work. I love every second of it. I could train day and night, no rest. I know every little aspect of fitness, I've done it for so long and I could actually train in my sleep. I don't do mistakes in my professional life. I've done them all at the beginning of my career. Not anymore. I have champs all around the world, some bodybuilders, other gymnasts, dancers, fitness models, athletes. I pushed them to gold because that's the way I am. I dream huge!

And there is my normal life outside of training. I kind of suck here, but not so much as I used to...but still. You don't have to remind me that! I may know how to bring an average guy to a gold medal with no effort, but I don't know how simple things function. Like using a hammer. Don't even ask about changing a tyre. I needed time, long time by the way, learning the difference between petrol and gas and I'm still not sure what's what. So please don't remind me about my blondness because I live with it every day! Tricia, who's my bester bestest, should know that....but she doesn't. She has that cruel passion of  taking photos anytime I make a mistake. And as I do many, she takes photos all the time. Like today when we had lunch together. I love having her around, you know....But today she took photos again and uploaded them on Facebook. I love Facebook, you know how much I love it. Thanks Mark Zuckerberg for creating it. I could spend hours chatting in your virtual world! So, yes, Tricia took today, as I've said, photos of me being blonde again. Me trying, really hard by the way, to unscrew those salt and pepper thinghies. I don't even know how they are called. How should I know how to use them?  I was just about to use a screwdriver, when Tricia got bored  watching me struggling for minutes. So she unscrew them in a bit....not before she took the photos of a silly blondie. Thanks for that, chick.  But she hasn't stopped here. Once one of the photos was on Facebook, she even warned people about me. Not people- people. A very important he. The thing is , because he is so important, he knows how blonde I am. No huge revelation here! 

So here is my plan for the future. I will be the one taking photos of my silly blonde moments even before my girlie Tricia would. I will even upload them on Facebook and I will post nasty comments about myself doing things my way. I could even comment on my own comments....and tag myself! I'd be the first one doing that and it would make me look even blonder than I am! And believe when I'm saying that there is no blonder than me! :)

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Je ne regrette rien

I haven't blogged for ages...at least that's how it feels. I haven't stopped blogging, nor I forgot you, guys. Just had a break...just a short one. I am back now and I promise to reply to your emails. Not just yet though. I still have to digest the changes in my life, but you know me. By tomorrow I will be up and running so expect emails from me very early in the morning! 

I may even cross some lines and get more personal...like telling you, guys,  how happy am or that I may not suck so much in my private life as I used to. The most important thing you may have to know is that I'm fine and saying my saying again. Also that I don't regret anything ( thanks, Edith, for reminding me that! ). I even got that inked...but not for you, guys, sorry! By the way,  this is another story that I may tell you about very soon. I mean, very, very soon. Have a great week, guys! :)

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Not always a first?

I had such a nice weekend, guys, and I neglected you all. I haven't replied to any of your emails, not because your emails are not important. They are, but my weekends don't belong to me only...anymore. However, at this moment in my life, they all finish on Sunday mornings, so I really want to give you more attention on Sunday afternoons. Huge thanks for your thoughts and for reading my blogs. I say things as I see them or as they are in my world. I said so many times that I created my world for people like me. It's not that we are special; it's just that we are different because we don't see bad things coming and, if they are, we forget about them in a sec. My peeps and I want to believe in a brighter world. 

There are no lies in my world. I don't lie, you know that. I knew it as well, but apparently I did lie recently. At least this was what Tricia said. You know Tricia, I'm sure you do. She is my bestest friend...a beautiful Irish girlie. She is the one who always watches over me and nothing bad can happen to me when Tricia is around. She is not the only one though, but I'm not telling you about this...just yet. But I will...very soon when all my wishes will come true.  Back to Tricia. She believes that I kind of blew it in one of my blogs. She even pointed out which one. So here it is "There is always a first", my not so honest blog.

Here is what happened. Last Thursday I was Tricia's driver for a while. And that's hard, because she owns a driver licence school. She knows everything about how to drive safe. I know every detail about how to drive elegant. She knows that both hands should be on the driving wheel and the eyes always on the road. I believe that one hand is enough and that my eyes should be constantly on the mirror...checking my make up. Tricia senses pedestrian areas; I kind of rush to get there only to smile and wave to people. Anyway, last Thursday, she took photos of me driving...lots of them. And then she posted them on Facebook...only to prove that a person who is going 70km/h in a 50km/h zone is not a nana driver, as I've said about myself. 


Now, I'm just wondering what my Facebook buddies believe about me. Lier or just blondie? Please take me as blonde as I am! I'm no lier, guys! Never been that! I also hope that you, guys, don't take me more seriously than I am. I am far too blonde for that! Blondes are not the best drivers, everybody knows that. Have a great Sunday night, guys! :)

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Just another blonde day

I work really well under pressure. Wait. The truth is that I have best results under pressure. I quite like the devil challenging me. In my private life...not too much; I can easily lose it if something bothers me. But it doesn't! I am happy, always been this way. Now I'm happier than ever! I have my reasons and there is no way I would tell you this story. But I'm happy to share another one.

 So big day today, three classes in a row, bootcamps and client after client. But I still got some time off around lunchtime. Here I was  hitting  the shops to buy some flowers for my garden. It's almost Spring here in New Zealand. First stop, the Post shopwhere I had   to pay for my car reggo. Easy for you, guys, cause you're not blonde. The lady at the counter is one of my clients so we  chatted for a while about all sorts. Then I realized that I have no clue what my car's number plate was.I never bothered with that.  I also was completely lost about what model my car was, but I knew the color. Normal! I love colors!   I told you I'm blonde. My client is not and she knows me well. So she took her lunch break while I checked the details of my car. I wanted to, but I forgot where I parked. You know I don't like dramas.  Therefore I decided to give myself another chance and just think again. I remembered where I parked and even seen my car...right after I tried to break into another silver one, very similar to mine. Luckily the owner was a nice guy and he understood my confusion...blonde moment again. So back to the Post shop, where I was finally able to pay for my reggo. 

Next stop, the plant shop. I bought all sorts of flowers and left without my car keys. When I went back, the lady who served me smiled, weird kind of smile. Maybe she left her keys in a shop sometime or maybe she realized how stupidly blonde I was. All good, I know who I am. No worries here.

Then the supermarket. I haven't forgotten my car keys there, nor my wallet. Just my handbag. That's fine, another nice lady smiled with compassion and handled back my bag. Fine again as long as people understand that we blondes live under constant pressure. You see, this pressure makes us lose our heads....easily!

So upside down day today, but let me tell you something. I have trained 2 ladies and 3 guys today. No mistake, all perfect! I have taught 3 classes in a row. All perfect. I have trained bootcampers. Fine again. No blonde moments in my work. But I told you already. I am allowed to do mistakes in my personal life. I have reasons. I'm happy and no again, I won't be telling you about that. One story at the time. I already told you one, guys! Have a great day! :)

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Thanks, blondie!

I'm like a German soldier on mission. Nobody gives me days off. Actually that's a lie. I had a Sunday off recently...after 920 days of work. Yes, I counted them; nothing wrong with that. Blondes always analyze things in their blonde heads. 

People love me, you know that. I'm not angry and I don't create arguments. Another lie. I do create them, but I don't respond well to loud voices just because I haven't figured out how to argue back. I will one day! So back to the love. Miriam loves me dearly I guess and, because she does, she really wants to show her love every single day. Like today when she broke my working cycle by offering me what nobody else did: a day off....not quite, but certainly a morning and a good afternoon to myself. I don't know what her plan really was, but it worked out beautifully. So she locked my studio, which is fine because we always close it....when we remember. Not with my keys inside though. Then she left to work. 

Remember that Miriam is blonde; not so blonde as I am, but still. Of course she's blonde; she's my daughter! We, natural blondies, do stuff and always have solutions...as many as possible. All crap! So, on the phone, with a sweet voice, she advised me to break into my studio. Why would I do that? To call the locksmith later? I don't like the guy. He always hits on me. And, to be honest, I love my day off. So thanks a million, Miriam. You're the best. My clients as well because they all understood my panic when I called them today to cancel sessions...and classes....and bootcamps. On the bright side, at least I know what to do when I want another day off. So if I ever call you to cancel again, guys, it's because I locked my keys in my studio. On purpose. Simple as! Have a great day, guys! I know I am! :)

Elegance is refusal

Lazy Sunday for me, guys, and I hope it's the same for you. Let's keep the laziness for longer and let's make an easy one today. I would start with with an affirmation: I am blonde, far too blonde sometimes! You see? I made it sound positive, because this is how I am. So, blonde or not, I have style. Always had it. It's not just the fancy clothes I wear. There is  so much more to it. Coco Chanel was my mentor since I was just a little girl. "Fashion changes, but style endures". Lady Chanel of course. I designed my style in years, I added what suited me and got rid of what wasn't me... just because I believed in what Anna Wintour, another mentor, said once "Create your own style..let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others". I am unique enough, thank you so very much!

I am a fitness person and what people expect to see is a funky woman, wearing sporty clothes. The thing is that tough and rough is not so much me. I am a different trainer, who wears beautiful clothes, and this is the statement I make and the trend I create! I feel comfortable in heels, as higher as possible; I own many (I mean, super many!) dresses, all one made. I never owned a PJ, I said it in another blog: I have nighties...beautiful ones by the way! I love fine nylons; I am a lace girl. I have one headband for each day of the year...unique ones, beautifully designed. You may believe that the trainer image doesn't match the one I am in my private life...but it does. I may look absurd to some, but just remember that even the absolute high fashion guru Karl Lagerfeld may agree with me. At least that's what he believes in; "Absurdity and anti- absurdity are the two poles of creative energy". Creativity? I don't need color; I am the color in my universe! I am a damn good trainer wearing fine things! I surround myself with materials that give me pleasure (no plastic in my world, guys!), smooth surfaces, perfectly rounded edges, gloss finishings. I bring together people who have their own style. They may look weird or just different, but they are stunning people, who know who they are....and you, guys, are some of them!

So, guys, you may believe that my thoughts today are addressed more to chicks rather than you....but this is not the case. Style defines us all! You have to be the color, fabric and smell you wear, the sounds you listen to, the images you look at! Forget about what's en vogue, what others try hard to identify with; forget about elegance. Adopt your own style. You don't need a fortune to have that! Good taste and style are forever! "Elegance is refusal"; Coco again! Have a fab lazy Sunday! :)

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Happy, happy day

How much is too much when it’s about happiness? Never enough for me really; when have I ever been sad? I smiled even in the most terrifying moments of my life. That can make other people quite angry by the way!  “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be”. Another Abraham said that, and no, he’s not related to me unfortunately. Lincoln, of course. 

Today I am happier than ever. I have reasons and as usual I share them with you….I’m still keeping some for myself only to hold the mystery for longer. First of all, my dear girlie Rachel has got engaged to that awesome guy of hers. They complete each other. Wait a sec. Where have I heard that? I know…show me the money! So back to Rachel. She deserves to be happy, she’s been through a lot and she always smiled...like me. Congrats, girlie, I’m sure you will be so happy. The guy is la crème de la creme!

But that’s not all. All my clients today were just perfect. They all had some goals to achieve by the end of this week and they all impressed me like none others. Easy training guys like them! Thanks for today, buddies, you made my day a breeze!

Then Hendrix, my puppy, again….and always. He survived another surgery and I now know that he’ll get well. It’s sad seeing him slow and sad. I prefer him chewing my whole house and destroying everything…but don’t worry, guys, very soon he’ll get back to his old habits. 

And one more reason of my happy clappy day…days? Today…I was able to avoid that idiot who stopped his car suddenly in the middle of an intersection. I thought the guy had a heart attack, but when I got closer I realized that it was a she, blonde, but not so blonde as me. She had a mascara rush and I can relate to that perfectly. A girl has to do what a girl has to do when the wind moves one little eyelash. They have to be perfect, don’t they? Well done blondie, for retouching your mascara in the intersection and super well done to me, blondie as well, for being able to avoid a crash. 

So, guys, still happy. You? I guess you are. Thanks again for your emails. I would just want to answer Craig from Seattle. Publicly. No, there is no way you can know more about me than I share in my blogs. End of story. Start, guys, preparing for the weekend. We are almost there! :)

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OMG how blonde I am!

Luck is believing you’re lucky. I wish I would have said that first, but Tennessee Williams was faster.  I believe I’m lucky… .from time to time. And I do believe in karma. My definition of karma is what goes around, goes around and what comes around, comes around. I wish somebody would quote me on this. 

Anyway, this morning, after sleeping around two hours and reinstating how lucky I am and how much good karma comes towards me, I decided to cancel my Sunday class. So, I hopped on my business Facebook page and posted my girlies  that there would be no class today. And then I cruised around checking what my peeps and their peeps are doing.  All around fine;  just that everybody speaks the same slang today…at least on Facebook. I counted 34 OMGs and even 5 OMFGs. Very in fashion apparently.  

The truth was that I was dying to wear today my light blue Donna Karan evening dress…first thing in the morning. As a statement! And I even knew where... to Mitre10. Let’s say this time a fair OMG again, just because other 34 said it this morning before me. Anyway, here I was in the hardware store, when Mike, one of the assistants saw me.  OMG, he said, “do you have a hot date so early in the morning?”. Actually I do…with you Mike…and while we have it would you be so nice to cut me some pieces of wood and sell me some proper stuff to glue them together? “OMG, I sure do that”, said Mike…again. 

While driving back home , I remembered that I have to buy a new lippy. I believed again that I was lucky and the result was that….. my colour was discontinued. I was probably the only one buying it. No problem, I agreed to change the brand. So the cookie in the shop started showing me all sorts and to make sure that the colour was right, she tried each lippy on my arm, up to my elbow. Now, remember that my lippies don’t come out easily, so, when the bird realised that  my arm would be painted for days, said another OMG, of course. But I found my colour. When I arrived home I noticed the mess Hendrix, my puppy, made in my absence, so another OMG. He was over the moon when I started unpacking the wood I bought, thinking that OMG what a game we would have. In fact I just wanted to make some frames for those beautiful paintings I got last night.  YouTube wasn't kind enough to show me how. So I typed “how to" and all sort of DIYs popped up. Like how to break into a house (huge OMG, but very helpful because I locked myself out quite often); how to break into a car (OMG I did that as well in a real blonde style); how to make a paper gun that shots (OMG how useless); how to make out with strangers (OMG I kind of like that); how to make extra money, as seen on TV (OMG too late if everybody has already seen it on tele); how to make a lemon battery (OMG why would I do that?). No frame video. Doesn’t matter, I said another OMG and I started putting my tools together. Sad, I have only a hammer and a pink screwdriver and I don’t need any of them.OMG. But I’ve done something that looks like even I have no clue what…and then I gave up. OMG.

So, nice Sunday, don’t you think? Everything went around to go around and came around to come around….my style of karma. I cannot change that, but I would like you, my guys, to stop OMGing me. I just showed you how bothering that can be. Let’s find another abbreviation or internet slang or whatever you want. Something like…no, I won’t tell you that!  Have a great day, guys! :)

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You, guys, rock!

53,200 readers. Really? That would make my weekend brighter. Even Hendrix, my puppy is excited! Thanks, guys, for taking me more seriously than I am.  

So thanks  to New Zealand, US (love you, guys; love your emails), UK, Canada, Australia, Japan, Switzerland, France, Italy, Spain, Russia, Bulgaria, Slovenia, Croatia, Hong Kong, China, Denmark, Romania, Namibia, Thailand, Germany, Philippines, Netherlands, Indonesia, Brazil (Rita, you and your buddies still  rock! Big time!), South Africa and Ukraine. Welcome aboard Nigeria, Bangladesh and South Korea. Love you, guys. Keep emailing me. A pleasure going through your thoughts! 

Have a great weekend, enjoy your time off  and see you around early next week! :)

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Immortal?

I love blogging on Fridays.  You,  guys,  are so relaxed at the end of the week…and I can say whatever; nothing would take your minds away from the happy hour tonight. Even the emails you send me on Fridays are different. Instead of questions about training and competitions, I get funny jokes and sometimes proposals. Thanks for that, guys, you are all so sweet. Let’s keep it that way! 

So let’s just make an easy one just because is Friday. What can be more down to earth than talking about yourself? So let’s start today (again) with magic. I love my magical life and I kind of find a joy being surrounded by people who have the same desire to create a parallel universe. …a rather more accommodating one. Do we have to create it, guys, or there are a few already in place? I asked that so many times, that sometimes even I got bored of my own words. I however wonder how much of this new life I feel the urge to create is based on kilesa versus karma. I always pictured karma as a domino effect of self-identity or personal identity if this sounds better for you. For me, karma has nothing to do with good deeds. What's good, by the way? Let me just explain. I believe that we have been programmed to perform a script, written by someone/ something much smarter than us.. We may be something like a really rudimentary/ basic software. Simple for me to understand that because you, guys, know how much I love technology. So we may have been basic softwares when we were born. Time is always on our side, so we can always add apps/ graphics/ pics/ notes to our initial program. Time is absolute, guys, no question here; Kant said it way before me (thesis/ antithesis). I also believe that  the master of the equation is the quantum mind, let’s just say that this may be related to the free will that would affect our karma. What are your thoughts, guys? Do you still believe that you deserve something better? Work on it just because our lives are work in progress. 

So how do you see me now, guys?  Not easy to ask, because I already know that I may get too many emails with all sorts of descriptions. Do you see me now in a different light or still the girl who wears funky mini skirts and pink headbands while training others? Is the image I carefully made matching me? Am I just the blonde you thought I am, behind a computer? Think! I just said something about a domino effect. Are you part of it? Mine or yours? Look at the bigger picture. I got the same question, don’t worry; somebody asked me if I know (or maybe pretend to know) what the divine’s (I’d call that the master self) big plan would be for me. My answer comes in three words: unity of consciousness.

So still focusing on the same question, I just want to drop (raise would sound closer to reality actually!) the level a little bit by quoting Stephen Hawkins “ What was God doing before He made the world? Was He preparing Hell for people who asked such questions?” What was He doing before creating me? You can answer that! Have a great weekend, guys! :)

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Las Vegas...Auckland style

The whole last week, I missed Durkheim… a lot. I haven’t got over him just yet. I’m sure you know whom I’m talking about. Emile Durkheim…you know….. the sociologist guy….the one who spent a good part of his life studying suicide.  He came to memorable conclusions in regards to who may commit suicide and more importantly why. Remarkable study really; read it if you haven’t already!  After a whole week of all sorts of events, I came to the conclusion that Durkheim has definitely forgotten a major cause of suicide...customer service. But at least he got it right saying that suicide rates are higher in times of peace....like now days. It took me some time, but I finally know why. 

So, a while back, I decided to use my maiden name. Nothing wrong with that. It’s my name, I inherited it and I like it. I made it public at the time and even my editors understood…after some good thinking… Basically everybody did, except some cheeky customer service staff. You see? I have accounts (you have as well, don’t even worry) on another name, one that means nothing to me anymore. So here I was, phoning consciously for months, every single day, my power, Internet, phone, satellite suppliers and many other companies I work with.  In my opinion, the procedure should be very simple: turn the computer on if it’s not on already, open my file (I sure have one!), delete a surname and replace it with another one. This is what it should have happened in a normal world. In nasty customer service world though, the procedure is very similar to a CIA case. Suspicion all over the place. Am I who I say I am? Actually yes, because as they can see, the one I am still pays for the bills. But just to make things easier for them, I emailed all sorts of customer service, starting with Mary and finishing with John (for your information, there were like 5 Marys and 8 Johns, all with odd accents) copies of what ever they asked for. Now, I am even expecting to be asked for referrals from my neighbors, my hairdresser, my butcher and the Indian guy from the veggie shop next door. I’ll supply them all if this is what they want. But they don’t. Hopeless customer service cannot sort my problem out because they don’t have a procedure in place. Apparently they never had a request like mine. Seriously? Am I the first person who separates or divorces in this country?... cause this would make me quite proud. I always wanted to be number one! 

I moved in a spiral for months. Therefore I thought of abusing some of the customer service staff  (exemplary abuse, of course!), but this is so not me. So, just to help out a little bit more, as a good girl I am, I came up with a solution. What if they close my account on my previous name and open one on my new name? That’s not possible either, they told me, because there is no procedure for it. As you see, in the same spiral, guys, just playing cha-cha... a step forwards, one backwards. So while in my spa, listening to Chopin, I decided over a plan.  I won’t phone anymore, I won’t talk to all sorts of staff.  I’ll just leave it as it is. I have better things to do. They can send me the bills on whatever name they want. They can even call me names if that makes them happy. I can suggest some if they don't have  a procedure for that either. 

Guys, you know how much I love my life…every little bit of it. And this great world! There are only two things I cannot stand: mediocrity and stupidity. I’m sure that if stupidity would shine, some customer service offices would look very much like Las Vegas! :)

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Still relaxed

I’m happy with my life; there is nothing wrong with it. I know that people around me may be stressed, but that doesn’t mean I have to be. Even my girlfriends complained lately. Let’s make this clear: my girlies are my kind of chicks and they know how to sort themselves out. So what’s the whole fuss about stress? My girlies say that it is totally related to modern life. It could be, I don’t disagree with my crew because I know nothing about stress. But then I went out shopping and I found my answers. So here I was doing my boring grocery shopping. I shouldn’t say that. People still starve in other countries, so please read “happy” instead of “boring”. I couldn’t stop listening to what those two ladies were talking about while blocking the flow in the supermarket. Apparently one of them was stressed, really stressed as she said. Here you go again. So I listened just because I wanted to know what caused her stress. Imagine what a huge problem she had: her husband worked too much, while she didn’t know what to do with her time. So let me put this into my words. The lady’s husband does overtime to keep her stressed…while he is not. Now, if this is stress, then I really like it and I want a slice of it…as big as possible, please!

On a serious note (like I’m able to cut the games!), right after I arrived home I had the urge to find something that would help me overcome stress forever. Is like I have the time and the mood to get grumpy! So, I decided to look at all sorts of practices that can help my soul reach what it has to (?). What about an out-of-body experience? Sorry, astral projection lately. That would be nice. Just imagine me (yes, in my pink outfit!) training somebody while my soul is way away in Jamaica. Ziggy Marley singing just for me while I sip pink cocktails. It wouldn’t work though because my clients ask questions and my brain has to work quite fast. So if Charles Tart’s practice wouldn’t work for me, I really have to find something else. What about a nice Chakra alignment? That would keep me occupied for a few hours. Nah, that wouldn’t work either in my case. I cannot stay still for too long and I would make a mess in my Chakra system…and this is something I couldn’t stand! Doesn’t mater, there should be other ways. Wait. What about adopting some mantras? I cannot decide whether I should go for Vedic mantras or Hindu tantras. They both sound great. Just picture that. One of my girlfriends asking me what I am up to. My answer? “Really busy, sweets. I practice my mantra/tantra”. That would make her run in the hoods. Fine, I know, it sounds silly. Then what about opening my Akashic Records and finding out my future? How nice that would be! Too complicated though because I would need to memorize some prayers that would open the path. Not for me, I love reading real things. My only solution is still Gabriella. I told you about her. She is a kind of fortune teller who emails me once in a while asking me to take my life seriously and open up for great things. She signs her emails “your dear friend” even if I have no clue who she is and who gave her my email address. But no again, because a month ago she blew her chances when she emailed me that at midday sharp I would meet the love of my life who ever that is. 

So, guys, I decided to stay as I am. I don’t need to overcome the effects of stress cause I have none. My life is so easy: I am just a girl keeping a whole house and business going.... by myself. But if you ever sense me stressed, please come up with solutions. I'm opened to all sorts, you know me!  :)

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Music on and by demand

 I live a magical life. It started long time ago, when I decided to break up with what you, guys, call normality. No, I’m not a Hermeticist disciple and I don’t follow any rituals to get in touch with whatever forces. I live a magical life by choice. Back to the choice again. I blogged on that a while back, I am sure you remember. So, I chose my reality, I make my world  my place and I invite in it only people who can or want to learn what magic means. I am a free spirit; so don’t get tricked by my blondeness, my make up or my heels. I may look odd to many people keeping up with Versace, wearing my funky dresses and weird headbands, but I’m fine with who I am and I am sure that my sweetness makes sense to you, guys, who keep reading my blogs. I believe that each of us can be a starting point in changing the world. “Be the change you wish to see”, Gandhi of course, how could it be me? Too big and precious words to come from a blondie.  I still believe in Santa. That’s quite sad actually, but it’s my choice who and what I believe in.  Where is my magical force coming from? Everything starts with music, guys, and believe it or not, Marilyn Manson was right when he said, “music is the strongest form of magic”. So, I have a huge music collection. Actually I am a walking music encyclopaedia. Every second of my life relates to a song, an artist, a word or a poem. I just love music. My foster mom was an opera singer and my whole childhood I was surrounded by Italian classical music. In time, I learnt to listen beyond the genre or the trends. So, I wake up every morning on a song, it can be rock or jazz or even hip hop.  As the day goes by, I add songs to my wake up one and, by the end of the day, I have a whole radio station in my head. Let me just show you how it works. 

I woke up at 4:00am yesterday on “Nights in White Satin” (Moody Blues). Good choice by the way; I always pick the best first.  Hot, hot shower…”Let’s get it on” (Marvin Gaye). Now, wait a sec…. no reason to pick this song! Long story with deciding which outfit to wear…in the gym…”Think twice” (Groove Armada). I finally decided which of my 100 headbands to wear as well, so ready to start work. As I opened the door, “Songbird” (Fleetwood Mac) is the first thing I can think about….then “Purple Rain” (Prince), just because it was raining again...in my world! First client, a guy, who instead of hello said that he decided to drop the competition in October, in other words to throw to the rubbish bin our last five months hard work  …”Trouble” (Ray LaMontaigne) and then right after “Give me one reason” (Tracy Chapman). I waisted a half an hour of his session trying to understand why. Then finally, he woke up and changed his mind. He competes if I choreograph his routine…”By your side” (Sade). I would have agreed with much more than that only to see him winning the title. Next client, nice lady, great actually…..”She talks to angels” (Black Crowes). Knee rehab work, laser, strapping, all sorts. Then I taught a Sculpt Step Class, fun, nice girlies, noise….”Start me up” (Rolling Stones). Shower, hot again, too hot no doubt…”Heaven and Hell” (Black Sabbath). Finally coffee time…”Coffee and cigarettes” (Ottis Reading). Only coffee for me, thank you very much! While I drank it, Hendrix, my puppy, destroyed one of my rose bushes...the only yellow one (I already told you that yellow roses are my all time favs)...."Crazy" (Aerosmith).

Next three clients, back to back….”Back in black” (AC/DC). Finally finished my morning rush, so let’s keep the rush going on! I hoped in my car….”Hells Bells” (AC/DC)…again? Video goss catching up chat with my girlie  friend while driving…”Trouble of the world” (Mahalia Jackson). Finally got to the shops and missed the only free parking because of another blonde driver…“Respect” (Aretha Franklin). Back home and while I organized my lunch, I remembered how I always used to have late, late lunches as an athlete….”Forever Young” (Bob Dylan). Back to training; first a bootcamp…hard, hard workout…”Cry baby” (Janis Joplin)….tears for them, I’m just fine! One of the bootcampers said that I’ve gone mad today….”Voodoo child” (Jimmi Hendrix). 

My time now. Two hours of dancing….”Dance for you” (Beyonce). But wait, right after...."I want to break free" (Queen). Finally home again….”Home” (Mumford and Sons). I started replying to around 100 emails just because I am a good girl and I don’t like letting my peeps down….”Angel “ (Ben Harper). And then at least as many text messages….”Mad World” (Tears for Fears). I finally checked my phone. Many missed calls, but no messages left. Why do people call and forget to leave messages? Who are these people because I don’t know any of the numbers? I may ask Siri, Apple is always helpful and a step ahead. So “Who called me?”. Siri’s answer is just stupid…but fast “I’m here to help you”. Not this time, Siri, but you will always be the love of my life…”One and only” (Adele).  Finally on Facebook; I just had to know what my girlies are up to….”Don’t forget your roots” (Six60). Chatting with three people in the same time, while on Skype with my US client and having my dinner in bed (bad habit!)…..”Have I told you lately” (Van Morrison). Shower, super hot again….”Thugz mansion” (Tupac). Now this is a million dollars one! Day finished  on “Wonderful world” (James Morrison). But not before turning off the radio station in my head. But don't worry, guys; tomorrow I'll make up another one depending on my moods.  Have a great day, guys! :)

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Happy? Sad?

There is no more ambiguous concept than happiness. At least for me. I searched and researched, read and wrote a lot about it, but still haven’t agreed on a definition. For Socrates, happiness was morality. I’m fine with that, I have strong morals and I demand the same from others. For Kant, happiness was something to hope for. I agree with that as well. I’m a wonderer and a dreamer, you know that.  What is happiness for you, guys? Is it a fat pay cheque, some fancy food (French back in fashion, guys) some more expensive bubbly, a lazy weekend, a hot date? For me, unfortunately it is much more than that. At this stage in my life, happiness is everything that makes me smile…a person, an event, a thing, ballet.  Is it really? I can however relate to Confucius here who once said, “where ever you go there you are”. So there is a state of happiness in every moment of our lives. What about when we are sad? Is there a happy-sad state of happiness?  There probably is one, but it is too complicated for me, so I’m not even going there. Now life supposed to be simple, “but we insist of making it complicated”. Confucius again, not me. Big words, so let"s then simplify them and translate my happy-sad moments into real life. 

So here I am with my girlies having fun in my spa…. mostly around it. Picture this: bikinis, girls acting silly, stupid weekend chit chats, Cosmos, strawberries and all sorts of chocolates. No training! What do girls talk about when they get together? Recipes….before the first Cosmo. Sad! Cosmo number one….about netball. Neither happy, nor sad! Cosmo number two….about fashion. Happy! Cosmo number three….about haute couture. Happier! The next few Cosmos…. about guys. Maybe happy, maybe sad! Depends on whom my girlies talk about. The party goes on and everybody takes pics. For Facebook, no doubt. How can those guys we just talked about miss the fact that we got together and had fun? That would make them sad and us happy! Then the girls leave and I have to clean the mess. Sad! Music is still on, great music by the way. Happy!

But the day is not over yet, so I decide to check my status of happy- sadness or sad-happiness. Google may help me out. First question “Am I sad?”. 64 pages of all sorts of answers. That makes me happy again! Let’s try again just because I got over being sad “Am I happy?”. This time 75 pages. Now I get so happy that I almost reach Nirvana (the path of purification, not the band!). If Google knows whether I’m happy or sad, Google would know who I am. So let’s go further. Next question “Who am I?”.  The answer comes on over 100 pages; no reference to my name, but still!  No name? Sad! Google, please make me happy again. I hate being sad. Next question “why do I hate being sad?”. Over 100 pages again. Now I’m truly happy because I know how to avoid my sadness. I told you that Google knows everything. So if it does, let's see how Google rates me, the self, comparing to God, the divine. So, God first, if you don’t mind. 51%. Fair enough, I’d give Him what belongs to Him. Me next, I mean the real me, the girlie with a website, active on all the social networks possible, involved in all sorts of projects. Yes, I scored quite well 49%. That increases my level of happiness again. Do you want me even happier, guys? Just click on my name a few more times and I may reach heaven. Have a great week, guys! :)

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